Summer Conversations
by IBelieveInHeroes
Summary: Steve Rogers confides in the elusive Natasha Romanoff, revealing his deep past and his true emotions. Steve/Natasha. K because I'm nervous.


_This is my first fan fiction, I am very nervous but ready to go! I hope you like it!_

It had been one of the Avengers' most glorious victories. It was one of those battles where victory seems impossible and death seems far too imminent. Scarily imminent. All of them had their time when they were so low. Tony was shot to the ground and his suit temporarily malfunctioned. Bruce got repeatedly shot at from all sides. Clint got one of his arrows deflected back at him, throwing him back into the air as it blew up. Thor got shot at close range and got most of his skin singed. Natasha was stabbed in her stomach by a sceptre and almost bled to death. Finally, Steve was gassed and suffered from severe hallucinations and awful memories were brought vividly back to life.

But, the world's mightiest heroes prevailed and the world remains in peace. For now.

Tony was making repairs to his helmet which as gotten badly bashed in the battle. The screen on the front had cracked and the metal jaw was almost crushed. Bruce was healing well, as he was the Hulk. If he was Bruce when he was shot at, he'd be dead or fading fast. He was only left with a few cuts and one slight dislocation. Clint was left with a badly bruised temple and a broken wrist but, luckily, both of which were easily recoverable. Thor's healing process, being a God, is much faster than the average man's and with the help of a few medicines he was getting back on to his feet again. Natasha was bandaged up immediately and the blood stopped flowing. She was recovering slowly but progressively, it wouldn't be long before she could run again. Steve was left with a gash down his cheekbone, a twisted ankle and a twisted knee. It was the emotional scarring that Steve suffered which was worrying. The state he was in shows how traumatic the pictures brought to him must have been.

Steve has just taken his medicines and he was heading to the east wing of the Helicarrier to check on Natasha who was the most badly hurt out of everyone. He opened the door slowly to her room, wary of the fact she might be resting. He peered in quietly. She was lying on her bed, she was awake but in a state of complete, blissful ignorance and tranquility. Her gentle green eyes glittered in the lights whilst her red hair gleamed. Steve almost gasped at how small, timid and peaceful she looked. For a strong, independent, feisty young woman, it was unthinkable for her to be like this.

Her eyes flickered a bit, as if awakening from their dormancy.  
"Steve, hi." She smiled, summoning him to her bedside.  
"Hello, Miss Romanoff, how are you doing?" Steve asked, kneeling beside her.  
"I'm getting on, thanks. Oh, and Steve? You can call me Natasha, we've known each other for long enough." She laughed. Steve blushed,  
"I'm sorry. It's just, the only other woman I've called by her first name is..." Steve's voice faded out and he looked at the ground. He sniffed hard and wiped his brow.  
"I understand, Steve, we all have things we want to forget. If we like it or not, those things are bound to keep creeping up on us." Natasha said after a long pause. Steve smiled sadly and looked back up into Natasha's eyes.  
"I'm sorry, ma'am... Natasha." Steve said, courteously. It almost pained him to say her name but at the same time it felt brilliant. As if the world had been lifted from his shoulders and chucked three million miles away. She smiled at him, a few strands of fiery hair lopping over one of her eyes.  
"It was a hard one, wasn't it?" Natasha asked, pondering over the battle that they'd won.  
"I suppose so, yes. But, thank god, we're all okay." Steve blushed, he still doesn't know a thing about women. It seemed like a whole new world to talk to one.

"Steve, when we came back you were in such a state. What happened?" Natasha asked, thinking back to his washed out face, broken posture and red eyes.  
"It was a gas." Steve began, "I was fighting and they suddenly threw a gas bomb at me. Almost out of nowhere. At first, it knocked me out cold. They clearly attacked me whilst I was out because of my injuries. I woke up just under an hour later and I suffered from hallucinations."  
"Of the past?"  
"Yes. Dr Erskine, Bucky, Howard Stark, Hydra, Schmitt, Colonel Phillips... Peggy. All of them." Steve said.  
"Do you want to tell me about it?" Natasha asked, taking his hand supportively, "About your past? Your life?"  
"I used to lie on my enlistment forms for the US army. One day I was from Paramus, the next I was from Boston. I tried six times with six different places. One day, Bucky tried to hook me up with a girl. She was beautiful, I suppose, but not for me. I tried a seventh time after watching Howard Stark's show. If you'd have told me then that I'd be working with him before the end of the month I wouldn't have believed you! I was in the waiting room when Dr Erskine walked in. I thought he'd come in to arrest me but he'd come to give the little guys a chance. He chose me to be a part of the super soldier programme where one of the lucky soldiers got the chance to become the first ever super soldier. The training was living hell, an awful experience. I hated every minute but I was chosen. I remember the conversation the night before the procedure. He was telling me about how Schmitt became the way he was. A mad scramble for greed and power. He tried the super soldier serum but it made his cruelty worse. The serum makes good brilliant and bad awful. Sorry, should I stop?"  
"No. No, carry on." Natasha replied, she was enjoying listening to him.  
"Are you sure?" Steve asked, blushing bright crimson.  
"Yes." Natasha smiled.  
"Where was I? Yes! Erm, I was taken to the secret government base the next morning by Agent Carter and the procedure began. I had a few injections before I was put inside the machine. I could gear Howard's muffled voice, counting up the percentages. When it got to around 70%, a searing pain rippled through my body. It was sheer agony. Every muscle inside my body went rigid and morphed, it was awful. They tried to shut it down but I couldn't back down when I'd gotten that far. I screamed to them that I could do it and they continued. The pain ceased as the door opened and Dr Erskine and Howard Stark helped me out. It was hard to walk at first, it was as if I had a whole new pair of legs. Peggy asked me how I felt... I felt taller." Steve laughed. So did Natasha.  
"What happened next?" She asked.  
"A Hydra agent had sneaked into the agency and blew up the viewing area. Nobody was in there so nobody was harmed but Dr Erskine turned to him. He didn't even threaten him, he was unarmed and weak. He got shot multiple times in the chest." Steve choked up a bit and he swallowed hard.  
"I'm sorry. You can stop if you want." Natasha said.  
"No. I'm fine." Steve sniffed hard, "I chased him down and tried to interrogate him but he munched a cyanide pill before I could get anything out of him. I was then made into Captain America. Not the one you know, no, I was in tights. A show. An act. I was a dancing monkey. I looked ridiculous. It was only when I did the rather awful performance in Italy I really became who I am now. I found out that Bucky, my best friend, could have been taken hostage in a hydra base. Peggy and Howard took me there and I parachuted off. I was introduced to Schmitt himself and I found Bucky. We all came out alive. It was one of the greatest moments you could ever dream for. Truly spectacular." Steve said.  
"How long did you fight before the... ice incident?" Natasha asked awkwardly, looking into his sad eyes.  
"Less than a year, I'd say around 9 months. We did so much in that time. We defeated Hydra. We were best friends. It was 7 months along when Bucky died. I remember him clinging on to the side of the train, reaching out to my hand. I remember him falling, his face contorted with horror. I remember the tears." Steve paused to gulp down his sobs. "Then the plane, only two months later. I promised I'd go on a date with her. I missed it, I missed it and now it's too late. I bet she was waiting for me,"Steve finished, tears were welling in his eyes.  
"You can still love, Steve. You do know that."  
"I'll never love anyone as much as her."  
"Are you sure about that?" Natasha said, staring deeply into his eyes. Steve looked up into her eyes. She looked so much like Peggy, strong yet soft. Beautiful. And for a moment, he thought twice.


End file.
